I, King Reginald Casper the Third, proclaim today as “World Sunshine Day.” Don’t you just luuuurve warm summer holidays in Vaal Marina? Sunshine, water, friends, and of course the luxury of residing in Vaalnest Boutique Hotel, aaaah the good life...
I recall the tale of an incident that happened not so long ago, about a young bird who had nothing more than a dream in his heart and a few pennies in his pocket. The brave young lad set out with hopes and plans to conquer the whole wide world but instead fund love in the wings of a beautiful little lady – alas, mum and dad.
Together, our hero and his bride chose the best spot they could find to build their dream nest, and they decided to call it Vaalnest.
It wasn’t long, though, before Dad’s spirit for adventure got the best of him, and together with mum, they set out on a great world tour, hoping to uncover mystic ruins, catch a glimpse of the pyramids, and perch on the Eiffel Tower.
This all sounded like way too much trouble for their enticingly handsome son (wink wink), and he was left in charge of their stunning home. He quickly proceeded to make the most of it, and together with his old friend, Pelicanus Rufescens, transformed it into Vaalnest Boutique Hotel.
Guests travel from afar yearning to experience just one night in the captivating, peaceful surroundings on offer.
I am glad to report that none of them ever leave disappointed!
P.S.
Not so eagerly awaiting mum and dad’s return... Mum can be a real old bat sometimes...
Monday, November 30, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Pelicanus Rufescens' Splendid Weddings
My old-time best mate, Pelicanus Rufescens, an incurable romantic and pink-backed pelican, resides at Pelican Hall situated on the grounds of my castle – Vaalnest Boutique Hotel.
By this time you all know I have a roving eye and appreciate the finer things of life, especially the fine females of my species... or for that matter, any species... (wink wink), whereas Pelicanus goes all mushy and lovey-dovey when it comes to his one and only, his other half which he has not even met yet. Sigh.
Pelicanus loves to host weddings at the Pelican Hall which can easily seat 120 guests. He jealously guard over every minute detail of each wedding and demands that arrangements go smoothly to ensure a breathtaking, fairytale coming-together of two people for life. Pelicanus lives out his own dream of meeting his soul mate each time he hosts a wedding. He expects only the best from his well-trained staff and his sole aim is to create an atmosphere of such tremendous intimate splendour that the lucky bride and groom will always look back on it as being the best day of their lives.
Pelicanus is rather tall – about 125 cm. He weighs a little more, though, than he should. He can’t resist nibbling on the delicious wedding cakes and gastronomic cuisine on offer. He will sometimes join me for dinner on my balcony overlooking the magnificent Vaal Dam and we will speak of amour.
To his exasperation I will comment on the beautiful females I have met during the day in a most appreciative manner. He, on the other hand, will only speak of his true love, Mrs. Pelicanus-to-be someday. Like I said, an incurable romantic – and who better than to oversee the most beautiful weddings on earth.
By this time you all know I have a roving eye and appreciate the finer things of life, especially the fine females of my species... or for that matter, any species... (wink wink), whereas Pelicanus goes all mushy and lovey-dovey when it comes to his one and only, his other half which he has not even met yet. Sigh.
Pelicanus loves to host weddings at the Pelican Hall which can easily seat 120 guests. He jealously guard over every minute detail of each wedding and demands that arrangements go smoothly to ensure a breathtaking, fairytale coming-together of two people for life. Pelicanus lives out his own dream of meeting his soul mate each time he hosts a wedding. He expects only the best from his well-trained staff and his sole aim is to create an atmosphere of such tremendous intimate splendour that the lucky bride and groom will always look back on it as being the best day of their lives.
Pelicanus is rather tall – about 125 cm. He weighs a little more, though, than he should. He can’t resist nibbling on the delicious wedding cakes and gastronomic cuisine on offer. He will sometimes join me for dinner on my balcony overlooking the magnificent Vaal Dam and we will speak of amour.
To his exasperation I will comment on the beautiful females I have met during the day in a most appreciative manner. He, on the other hand, will only speak of his true love, Mrs. Pelicanus-to-be someday. Like I said, an incurable romantic – and who better than to oversee the most beautiful weddings on earth.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Peacehaven
Stress! (Aaaah... that horrible one-syllable word...)
It causes anxiety, split ends, moodiness, hair loss, and even the occasional pimple – my worst nightmare! Shriek!!!!!
Being the laid back, rich, relaxed, royal (excuse the alliteration) bird that I am, stress is not a word I really choose to have in my vocabulary, but time and time again I see guests arriving in my kingdom, all with the same worn-out, frightened, and stressed expressions – like they just got off the “up-down, head-over-heels, full-speed, fast-drop rollercoaster” called life.
That’s when I decide to treat them to a deluxe, exquisite, not-so-rare, wonderful morning in my castle – Vaalnest Boutique Hotel.
They start their day with a champagne breakfast on their private balcony...mmm... imagine French bubbly and decadent chocolate muffins, all while enjoying the extraordinary Vaal Dam view...
Then, after a loooong aromatic bubble bath and an even longer full-body massage at the day spa, there is not even a single sign of stress to be found on their faces.
Ooooh, the magical bliss of being pampered and spoiled silly...
I think I’m going to spend the rest of my day on my yacht... (bird watching, you know – wink wink).
Jealous?
Why not experience it for yourself? Book a weekend in my kingdom – 100% satisfaction guaranteed.
It causes anxiety, split ends, moodiness, hair loss, and even the occasional pimple – my worst nightmare! Shriek!!!!!
Being the laid back, rich, relaxed, royal (excuse the alliteration) bird that I am, stress is not a word I really choose to have in my vocabulary, but time and time again I see guests arriving in my kingdom, all with the same worn-out, frightened, and stressed expressions – like they just got off the “up-down, head-over-heels, full-speed, fast-drop rollercoaster” called life.
That’s when I decide to treat them to a deluxe, exquisite, not-so-rare, wonderful morning in my castle – Vaalnest Boutique Hotel.
They start their day with a champagne breakfast on their private balcony...mmm... imagine French bubbly and decadent chocolate muffins, all while enjoying the extraordinary Vaal Dam view...
Then, after a loooong aromatic bubble bath and an even longer full-body massage at the day spa, there is not even a single sign of stress to be found on their faces.
Ooooh, the magical bliss of being pampered and spoiled silly...
I think I’m going to spend the rest of my day on my yacht... (bird watching, you know – wink wink).
Jealous?
Why not experience it for yourself? Book a weekend in my kingdom – 100% satisfaction guaranteed.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Royal Weddings...
Glitz! Glamour! Style! Impeccable taste!
Close your eyes and try to imagine this scene (well, don’t stop reading, just imagine closing your eyes) – a beautiful bride, dressed in designer couture, graciously steps out of a sleek limousine and follows a trail of rose petals and fairy lights through the fragrant garden to where she meets her beloved in the chapel. Surrounded by friends and family, and hundreds of roses and lanterns, they declare their everlasting, undying love for each other.
Ah, the bliss of romance! Sigh... No, you haven’t spotted me pecking away a tear! Sniff...
Have your “big day” at Vaalnest Boutique Hotel, and leave all the boring planning and stressful details in the capable hands of my staff and on-site co-ordinator, while you get pampered and spoiled and all dolled up to look beeeeeeautiful!
Birthday parties, engagement parties, weddings, business conferences, launches, and oh, did I mention PARTIES? We here at Vaalnest Boutique Hotel host any type of event and (hee hee) party up a storm anytime.
You might just get lucky and spot me doing a sexy rumba, or the electric slide, or I might even pull out all the stops and honour you with my striking imitation of MJ’s moonwalk.
For an old bird, I still have a surprising number of moves up my sleeve...er...wing....
You know, it has been rumoured that Elvis was once spotted by paparazzi impersonating the “Reggie-House Rock”!
I choose not to comment, but as my old friend, the king himself, said: - “Thank you, thank you very much.”
Close your eyes and try to imagine this scene (well, don’t stop reading, just imagine closing your eyes) – a beautiful bride, dressed in designer couture, graciously steps out of a sleek limousine and follows a trail of rose petals and fairy lights through the fragrant garden to where she meets her beloved in the chapel. Surrounded by friends and family, and hundreds of roses and lanterns, they declare their everlasting, undying love for each other.
Ah, the bliss of romance! Sigh... No, you haven’t spotted me pecking away a tear! Sniff...
Have your “big day” at Vaalnest Boutique Hotel, and leave all the boring planning and stressful details in the capable hands of my staff and on-site co-ordinator, while you get pampered and spoiled and all dolled up to look beeeeeeautiful!
Birthday parties, engagement parties, weddings, business conferences, launches, and oh, did I mention PARTIES? We here at Vaalnest Boutique Hotel host any type of event and (hee hee) party up a storm anytime.
You might just get lucky and spot me doing a sexy rumba, or the electric slide, or I might even pull out all the stops and honour you with my striking imitation of MJ’s moonwalk.
For an old bird, I still have a surprising number of moves up my sleeve...er...wing....
You know, it has been rumoured that Elvis was once spotted by paparazzi impersonating the “Reggie-House Rock”!
I choose not to comment, but as my old friend, the king himself, said: - “Thank you, thank you very much.”
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Royal Favourite Pastimes...
Vaalnest Boutique Hotel is my castle and here I reign supreme. My favourite pastime is bird watching – of course – and I will let you know that 240 bird species have been identified in my immaculately kept designer’s garden. (Yep yep, Solomon am I with many concubines.) A bird lover’s paradise... wink wink. For a wily old bird like me – Heaven! Visit me and book a guided bird-walk. You will never be the same again. Just be sure to bring your camera. Unfortunately, touching is prohibited but you may feast your eyes...
I do enjoy the occasional game of golf near here but have to dodge flying balls the whole time. A while ago a stray ball almost beheaded me and since then I decided to declare the golf course a no-fly zone for birds. I prefer to catch a ride on the shoulder of a caddy. I do love the greens and will occasionally pause to nibble away. It’s soooo good for keeping a bird regular.
Ladies, you’re welcome to come and feel the bump on my head – it’s still here. Please do croon in my ear when you do your thing.
For those of you who are birds of another kind (vultures), I give you the Paintball Park. I myself do not adventurously venture into the warzone, thank you, but prefer to spend some quality (and safe) time in my underground bunker having a relaxing massage. I am King Reginald Casper the Third and rumour already has it that my great-great-great gogo had an encounter with a certain flying specimen named Casper the Ghost, hence my name.
Naturally, taking my royal bloodline into account, I do not want to encourage such idol and slanderous gossip, and therefore I stay clear of the flying paintballs. I do not want to be romantically approached by a peacock. Trust me. (...and I do NOT want to have any descendant of mine be called Prince Reginald Casper Peacock the sixth. Ugh!)
I do enjoy the occasional game of golf near here but have to dodge flying balls the whole time. A while ago a stray ball almost beheaded me and since then I decided to declare the golf course a no-fly zone for birds. I prefer to catch a ride on the shoulder of a caddy. I do love the greens and will occasionally pause to nibble away. It’s soooo good for keeping a bird regular.
Ladies, you’re welcome to come and feel the bump on my head – it’s still here. Please do croon in my ear when you do your thing.
For those of you who are birds of another kind (vultures), I give you the Paintball Park. I myself do not adventurously venture into the warzone, thank you, but prefer to spend some quality (and safe) time in my underground bunker having a relaxing massage. I am King Reginald Casper the Third and rumour already has it that my great-great-great gogo had an encounter with a certain flying specimen named Casper the Ghost, hence my name.
Naturally, taking my royal bloodline into account, I do not want to encourage such idol and slanderous gossip, and therefore I stay clear of the flying paintballs. I do not want to be romantically approached by a peacock. Trust me. (...and I do NOT want to have any descendant of mine be called Prince Reginald Casper Peacock the sixth. Ugh!)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
What to do... what to do...
If I had a yellow submarine I would’ve been splashing in the tranquil waters of the Vaal Dam like a hot yellow-polka-dot-bikini mama when paparazzi are lurking nearby. Imagine the headlines: Reggie – Dotty as Always!
Except I’m not a mama, I don’t own a bikini – polka dotted or otherwise. I am, however (some serious eyebrow wriggling) known to bathe au naturel with a strategically placed tail feather to cover my... shall we say crown jewels?
My guests are welcome to avail themselves of the blessed coolness of the carved-out-of-rock infinite pool of Vaalnest Boutique Hotel as they languorously sip on martinis while they admire the dramatic cascading water features. The occasional yellow-polka-dot-bikini hotty has been spotted here... wink wink.
What is a blue blood ring neck parrot without a splendid carriage to pull him through the streets of his kingdom so he can pull out all the stops and do the Mexican wave... eh... royal wave? Sadly, I am not only lacking a submarine –yellow or otherwise, but a carriage – splendid or otherwise. But boy, you should see me on my mountain bike – all feathers flapping as I joyfully careen through the streets of my quaint holiday town, Vaal Marina! Time and time again I forget all about va-va-voom and Viagra as I squawk myself silly, having a windy ball. Visit me and have one yourself – satisfaction guaranteed.
Big boys play with big toys, you say? Well, if size does matter, you can always romp around on a quad bike, jet ski, or powerboat – courtesy from my friends at Watersports & Marine. Whatever tickles your fancy. So what are you waiting for? High tail it to my not-so-humble-abode and let’s p-a-r-t-y.
Except I’m not a mama, I don’t own a bikini – polka dotted or otherwise. I am, however (some serious eyebrow wriggling) known to bathe au naturel with a strategically placed tail feather to cover my... shall we say crown jewels?
My guests are welcome to avail themselves of the blessed coolness of the carved-out-of-rock infinite pool of Vaalnest Boutique Hotel as they languorously sip on martinis while they admire the dramatic cascading water features. The occasional yellow-polka-dot-bikini hotty has been spotted here... wink wink.
What is a blue blood ring neck parrot without a splendid carriage to pull him through the streets of his kingdom so he can pull out all the stops and do the Mexican wave... eh... royal wave? Sadly, I am not only lacking a submarine –yellow or otherwise, but a carriage – splendid or otherwise. But boy, you should see me on my mountain bike – all feathers flapping as I joyfully careen through the streets of my quaint holiday town, Vaal Marina! Time and time again I forget all about va-va-voom and Viagra as I squawk myself silly, having a windy ball. Visit me and have one yourself – satisfaction guaranteed.
Big boys play with big toys, you say? Well, if size does matter, you can always romp around on a quad bike, jet ski, or powerboat – courtesy from my friends at Watersports & Marine. Whatever tickles your fancy. So what are you waiting for? High tail it to my not-so-humble-abode and let’s p-a-r-t-y.
Welcome to King Reggies World!
Do you fancy a dreamy getaway from the fast paced urban jungle to rejuvenate your body and soul in a luxuriously serene surrounding? Imagine pampering yourself with a weekend of sheer relaxing bliss and leisure activities that will have a much desired therapeutic effect on your overall wellbeing...Hmmm...
Stop! Why indulge in a hazy dream that could only leave you unfulfilled? Experience the real thing!
Now that I have your attention, allow me to introduce myself. I am King Reginald Casper the Third. A delightful mouthful when I am called upon to impress the ladies – wink wink ;-). I am not one for standing on ceremony, though, - I like to perch – and you may call me Reggie, providing you buy the first round of drinks... and the second, and the third. I am royalty after all!!!!! Have you ever seen a true blue blood bird fly around with a sequined purse clutched in his manicured talons? Duh!
My kingdom is named Vaal Marina, a picturesque holiday town nestling intimately on the back of the mighty Vaal Dam where, if you look close enough, you’ll catch my friend Rip van Winkle, still catching forty winks beneath a shady old tree. Entering Vaal Marina one experiences a definite sense of homecoming and belonging – that elusive “ooh-aah feeling” everyone wants to bottle and sell to the highest bidder. People are known to shout “yeah baby yeah, come to papa” when seeing my kingdom for the very first time. A bit presumptuous of them, I say, as I prefer birds of another feather but let me not be known as a party pooper - (that wink again).
My castle and home is the exclusive Vaalnest Boutique Hotel (VaalNEST, get it?). I languorously submit myself to the caring and loving administrations of professional staff whose sole aim in life is to spoil me rotten. I place my royal feather stamp of approval on their excellent service. This is undoubtedly an honour I do not bestow lightly as I hate getting ink on my luxuriously cushioned tailbone. People might think I have piles, for heaven sake!
I while away many golden hours perching on the balcony of my 4* castle overlooking Vaal Marina and admiring all that is mine – although my favourite pastime is bird-watching, of course (still winking). I have many guests arriving from all over the country and abroad to experience the honour of having an audience with me. I simply love introducing them to my magical kingdom and giving them a chance to escape from their oh-so-ordinary lives to a world of sheer unadulterated luxury as they settle down to enjoy a taste of my out-of-this-world hospitality.
A true gossiper at heart, I would love to boast to you about my kingdom, my castle and all the wonderful activities and fun we get up to here. I’m hoping you would soon like to come for a visit and meet me. Contact the efficient staff at my castle, the Vaalnest Boutique Hotel, and book your stay. Meanwhile, keep on reading my blog – it’s bloody hard work typing with my beak!
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