If I had a yellow submarine I would’ve been splashing in the tranquil waters of the Vaal Dam like a hot yellow-polka-dot-bikini mama when paparazzi are lurking nearby. Imagine the headlines: Reggie – Dotty as Always!
Except I’m not a mama, I don’t own a bikini – polka dotted or otherwise. I am, however (some serious eyebrow wriggling) known to bathe au naturel with a strategically placed tail feather to cover my... shall we say crown jewels?
My guests are welcome to avail themselves of the blessed coolness of the carved-out-of-rock infinite pool of Vaalnest Boutique Hotel as they languorously sip on martinis while they admire the dramatic cascading water features. The occasional yellow-polka-dot-bikini hotty has been spotted here... wink wink.
What is a blue blood ring neck parrot without a splendid carriage to pull him through the streets of his kingdom so he can pull out all the stops and do the Mexican wave... eh... royal wave? Sadly, I am not only lacking a submarine –yellow or otherwise, but a carriage – splendid or otherwise. But boy, you should see me on my mountain bike – all feathers flapping as I joyfully careen through the streets of my quaint holiday town, Vaal Marina! Time and time again I forget all about va-va-voom and Viagra as I squawk myself silly, having a windy ball. Visit me and have one yourself – satisfaction guaranteed.
Big boys play with big toys, you say? Well, if size does matter, you can always romp around on a quad bike, jet ski, or powerboat – courtesy from my friends at Watersports & Marine. Whatever tickles your fancy. So what are you waiting for? High tail it to my not-so-humble-abode and let’s p-a-r-t-y.
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