This is my least favorite part of the year. Yes, of course I love Christmas!!!! The smell of baked goodies, mistletoe, and ferns is enough to get anyone in a jolly mood. I love New Year’s Day just as much! All the excitement and a bottle of real French Bubbly when the clock strikes 12 are bound to cheer up even the most depressed of all creatures. It’s the week in between that gets on my nerves!
Ah yes, the week between Christmas and New Year, when the Christmas Spirit hasn’t quite worn off yet, and the excitement about the New Year, in this case 2010, is slowly creeping up on you. What’s also creeping up on me is last year’s resolutions list! I try to cram in as many 2009 resolutions as I can into this short week. Skydiving, losing a few centimeters along the gut (blush), keeping a diary, getting some charity work done, and of course the one resolution that seems to be on everyone’s list – get rich quick! Even my dear old friend, Pelicanus Rufescens, fell into a deep form of depression after realizing that ANOTHER year has past and he is still a very eligible bachelor!
I decided to skip all of this stress next year. I will only have one New Year’s resolution for 2010. And it’s a big one!
I, His Royal (and impossibly handsome) Highness, King Reginald Casper the Third, vow to have lots and lots and lots and lots of FUN in 2010. That’s my only resolution!
Carpe Diem, my dear friends!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Christmas Eve
Christmas Eve! My tail feathers have been gelled and glittered and I even donned a cute Santa Claus outfit tailored especially with my unique physical features in mind. I am King Reginald Casper the Third – affectionately known to my dear friends as ‘that most handsome Reggie’, and tonight I wear my bling-bling crown with such regal aplomb that Queen Elizabeth texted me for a gold imprint of my middle tail feather to hang on her boudoir wall.
The beautiful countess Fanny Flamenco and my dear old mate Pelicanus Rufescens are joining me for a gastronomic feast this evening. We will probably be hanging from the chandeliers before long, I know, so I had better open my presents while I am still flying straight. Eh, the brandy pudding is a bit potent...
The festive season is all about laughter, goodwill and cheer. That is exactly what I wish upon each and every one of you. Have a jolly good Christmas with your loved ones, and do think about those who are less fortunate than you.
The beautiful countess Fanny Flamenco and my dear old mate Pelicanus Rufescens are joining me for a gastronomic feast this evening. We will probably be hanging from the chandeliers before long, I know, so I had better open my presents while I am still flying straight. Eh, the brandy pudding is a bit potent...
The festive season is all about laughter, goodwill and cheer. That is exactly what I wish upon each and every one of you. Have a jolly good Christmas with your loved ones, and do think about those who are less fortunate than you.
Twitfriends
My new favourite website!
Twitter friends makes twitter so much easier... Comes in handy for an old bird like me. Wink Wink.
twitterfriends.org
Twitter friends makes twitter so much easier... Comes in handy for an old bird like me. Wink Wink.
twitterfriends.org
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
...Christmas Spirit!
My definitely not-so-humble abode is adorned with strings of colourful lights and baubles flickering festively in the reflection of the moonlit waters of the mighty Vaal Dam. My staff sport red hats and brilliant smiles all around as they excitedly prepare for a Christmas celebration the likes that have never been seen this side of the Equator.
There is an understated excitement that permeates the very air like a fragrant perfume and seeps through every whispered conversation and secret smile as the heap of gaily wrapped presents grow to an alarming stack beneath the grandfather of all Christmas trees in the lobby.
I perch on my balcony, sipping on 100 year old refined whiskey and listening to Boney M as I ponder which delights await me on Christmas Eve when I get to open the presents which have been sent to me from all over my kingdom by my loyal subjects. Ho ho ho!
There is an understated excitement that permeates the very air like a fragrant perfume and seeps through every whispered conversation and secret smile as the heap of gaily wrapped presents grow to an alarming stack beneath the grandfather of all Christmas trees in the lobby.
I perch on my balcony, sipping on 100 year old refined whiskey and listening to Boney M as I ponder which delights await me on Christmas Eve when I get to open the presents which have been sent to me from all over my kingdom by my loyal subjects. Ho ho ho!
...no stress...
As I am a bird of royalty and unimpeachable class, I can not allow stress to spoil my strikingly sexy features. But since there is nothing manic about my Mondays… or Tuesdays… er… or for that matter, any day of the week, you will never see me with a despairing face.
Sometimes, my dear old friend, Pelicanus Rufescens, and I choose to spend a pleasant morning at the day spa – just to take the edge off – where we are pampered from perfectly manicured talons to chic highlighted feathers. Jaya Day spa is situated a convenient 30 km’s from Vaal Marina, and is home to some of the best masseuses and therapists that I know.
While relaxing in the Jacuzzi with a glass of bubbly, Pelicanus will usually ramble on about his dream wedding ceremony at Vaalnest Boutique Hotel and ponder out loud about his bride-to-be, whom he has not yet met, while I wolf-whistle and facetiously wink at the beauty therapist.
Much to my amusement, Pelicanus will be quite flabbergasted with my bold as brass attempts to catch the little lady’s eye, and will proceed with a long lecture on moderation and self-restraint.
Why not come visit me at the Vaalnest Boutique Hotel and spend a day at the spa yourself?
Just don’t be surprised if you see a strikingly handsome parrot and a… er… chubby cheeked pink-backed pelican living it up next to the pool.
Sometimes, my dear old friend, Pelicanus Rufescens, and I choose to spend a pleasant morning at the day spa – just to take the edge off – where we are pampered from perfectly manicured talons to chic highlighted feathers. Jaya Day spa is situated a convenient 30 km’s from Vaal Marina, and is home to some of the best masseuses and therapists that I know.
While relaxing in the Jacuzzi with a glass of bubbly, Pelicanus will usually ramble on about his dream wedding ceremony at Vaalnest Boutique Hotel and ponder out loud about his bride-to-be, whom he has not yet met, while I wolf-whistle and facetiously wink at the beauty therapist.
Much to my amusement, Pelicanus will be quite flabbergasted with my bold as brass attempts to catch the little lady’s eye, and will proceed with a long lecture on moderation and self-restraint.
Why not come visit me at the Vaalnest Boutique Hotel and spend a day at the spa yourself?
Just don’t be surprised if you see a strikingly handsome parrot and a… er… chubby cheeked pink-backed pelican living it up next to the pool.
...no stress...
As I am a bird of royalty and unimpeachable class, I can not allow stress to spoil my strikingly sexy features. But since there is nothing manic about my Mondays… or Tuesdays… er… or for that matter, any day of the week, you will never see me with a despairing face.
Sometimes, my dear old friend, Pelicanus Rufescens, and I choose to spend a pleasant morning at the day spa – just to take the edge off – where we are pampered from perfectly manicured talons to chic highlighted feathers. Jaya Day spa is situated a convenient 30 km’s from Vaal Marina, and is home to some of the best masseuses and therapists that I know.
While relaxing in the Jacuzzi with a glass of bubbly, Pelicanus will usually ramble on about his dream wedding ceremony at Vaalnest Boutique Hotel and ponder out loud about his bride-to-be, whom he has not yet met, while I wolf-whistle and facetiously wink at the beauty therapist.
Much to my amusement, Pelicanus will be quite flabbergasted with my bold as brass attempts to catch the little lady’s eye, and will proceed with a long lecture on moderation and self-restraint.
Why not come visit me at the Vaalnest Boutique Hotel and spend a day at the spa yourself?
Just don’t be surprised if you see a strikingly handsome parrot and a… er… chubby cheeked pink-backed pelican living it up next to the pool.
Sometimes, my dear old friend, Pelicanus Rufescens, and I choose to spend a pleasant morning at the day spa – just to take the edge off – where we are pampered from perfectly manicured talons to chic highlighted feathers. Jaya Day spa is situated a convenient 30 km’s from Vaal Marina, and is home to some of the best masseuses and therapists that I know.
While relaxing in the Jacuzzi with a glass of bubbly, Pelicanus will usually ramble on about his dream wedding ceremony at Vaalnest Boutique Hotel and ponder out loud about his bride-to-be, whom he has not yet met, while I wolf-whistle and facetiously wink at the beauty therapist.
Much to my amusement, Pelicanus will be quite flabbergasted with my bold as brass attempts to catch the little lady’s eye, and will proceed with a long lecture on moderation and self-restraint.
Why not come visit me at the Vaalnest Boutique Hotel and spend a day at the spa yourself?
Just don’t be surprised if you see a strikingly handsome parrot and a… er… chubby cheeked pink-backed pelican living it up next to the pool.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Royal Summons
When last – if ever – have you received a royal summons? Consider this one. You are invited to visit me – His Royal – and impossibly handsome – Highness King Reginald Casper the Third at my splendid abode – the Vaalnest Boutique Hotel situated on the banks of the mighty Vaal Dam in the quaint and picturesque holiday town, Vaal Marina.
Avail yourself of my famous hospitality and experience an indulgent and decadent break-away that will re-charge your batteries and fire your pistons, so to speak. Allow my highly trained staff to spoil you rotten and to attend to your every wish. Whether you want an action packed, highly adventurous weekend that will satisfy your craving for highly-sought-after addictive adrenaline shots or just a leisurely and luxurious pampering that will leave you feeling deliciously boneless and sinfully relaxed. Vaalnest Boutique Hotel is the place to be. Why wait? RSVP to my invite by phoning your reservation through to 016 372 1075. See you soon!
Avail yourself of my famous hospitality and experience an indulgent and decadent break-away that will re-charge your batteries and fire your pistons, so to speak. Allow my highly trained staff to spoil you rotten and to attend to your every wish. Whether you want an action packed, highly adventurous weekend that will satisfy your craving for highly-sought-after addictive adrenaline shots or just a leisurely and luxurious pampering that will leave you feeling deliciously boneless and sinfully relaxed. Vaalnest Boutique Hotel is the place to be. Why wait? RSVP to my invite by phoning your reservation through to 016 372 1075. See you soon!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
P.A.R.T.Y
Guess what?!! On the 19th and 20th December, Vaal Marina is the place to be! The Vaal Dam Beach Festival is an event that I eagerly bestow my royal feather stamp of approval on (which, by the way, is an honour I do not grant without due consideration).
The weekend will be packed with action, fun, and entertainment. You can expect to see some of Gauteng’s best DJ’s and wakeboard demos. I will most certainly be seen at the chocolate wrestling and will endeavour to satisfy my need for speed with the boat and jet ski fun ride to Deneysville and back. There will also be a big flea market for the shopaholics.
Although I am well known to refrain from scandalous gossip, I see it as my er... royal duty to inform you that it has been rumoured that the dashingly darling Countess Flammy Flamenco will be taking part in the wet t-shirt competition.
Mi casa, Vaalnest Boutique Hotel, will of course be open for business (and pleasure) that weekend. Come visit me in my royal abode!
The weekend will be packed with action, fun, and entertainment. You can expect to see some of Gauteng’s best DJ’s and wakeboard demos. I will most certainly be seen at the chocolate wrestling and will endeavour to satisfy my need for speed with the boat and jet ski fun ride to Deneysville and back. There will also be a big flea market for the shopaholics.
Although I am well known to refrain from scandalous gossip, I see it as my er... royal duty to inform you that it has been rumoured that the dashingly darling Countess Flammy Flamenco will be taking part in the wet t-shirt competition.
Mi casa, Vaalnest Boutique Hotel, will of course be open for business (and pleasure) that weekend. Come visit me in my royal abode!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Morning After...
Being the royal bird that I am, I do not partake in scandalous tittle-tattle of any kind. Even though I would like to tell you more about my escapades with the Countess Flammy Flamenco, being a bona fide gentleman puts a ceiling on the banter. All I can afford to tell, is that after a long evening of frivolous pleasures accompanying the Madame, what better way is there to recover from the dazzling, darling Countess’s er… bedazzlements than with a pot of steaming Brazilian coffee, and then desperately attempting to catch some shut-eye before sunrise.
I, His Royal Highness King Reginald Casper the Third, love flaunting my new sporty pair of Nike Air Max trainers. I pompously brag with them when I occasionally honor guests with my company to Klipkraal’s hiking trail. Although I much rather prefer to lazily idle away my time on the shady deck of mi casa, the Vaalnest Boutique Hotel, exploring through the bush and open grasslands proved to be quite an adventure. Apart from the spectacular birdlife (caught glimpses of a few flirtatious females, wink wink, DEFINITE potential in the area…), I also laid eyes upon a couple of zebras and even a wildebeest. Klipkraal is situated a convenient 5km away, and gives you the perfect excuse to show off your Nike’s!
If you prefer to unruffle your feathers in a more relaxing style, I’d recommend chilling at the irresistible Vaalnest Boutique Hotel, keeping a lazy eye on the biggest inland yacht race in the world, the “Round the Island Yacht Race”. People from all across the country convene at the Vaal Dam to see hundreds of yachts silently sailing together. This annual race even holds a Guinness World Record!
I plan to retire to my private lounge for the rest of the day. Blogging is hard work… Some birds need water; I need an open bottle of 99’ Merlot.
I, His Royal Highness King Reginald Casper the Third, love flaunting my new sporty pair of Nike Air Max trainers. I pompously brag with them when I occasionally honor guests with my company to Klipkraal’s hiking trail. Although I much rather prefer to lazily idle away my time on the shady deck of mi casa, the Vaalnest Boutique Hotel, exploring through the bush and open grasslands proved to be quite an adventure. Apart from the spectacular birdlife (caught glimpses of a few flirtatious females, wink wink, DEFINITE potential in the area…), I also laid eyes upon a couple of zebras and even a wildebeest. Klipkraal is situated a convenient 5km away, and gives you the perfect excuse to show off your Nike’s!
If you prefer to unruffle your feathers in a more relaxing style, I’d recommend chilling at the irresistible Vaalnest Boutique Hotel, keeping a lazy eye on the biggest inland yacht race in the world, the “Round the Island Yacht Race”. People from all across the country convene at the Vaal Dam to see hundreds of yachts silently sailing together. This annual race even holds a Guinness World Record!
I plan to retire to my private lounge for the rest of the day. Blogging is hard work… Some birds need water; I need an open bottle of 99’ Merlot.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Countess Flammy Flamenco
I daringly dabble in doing daredevil stunts in midair whenever the situation requires it of me. Like earlier today. I was enjoying a leisurely lunch on the shady deck of mi casa, the Vaalnest Boutique Hotel, which overlooks the magnificent Vaal Dam, when I heard a terrible squawk and the ominous sound of wings fluttering at frightening speed.
My first thought was that my good old friend, Pelicanus, had got himself in a rather tight spot! He might have underestimated his ever-increasing girth and attempted to fly higher than a bird of his er… stature is advised to do. Pelicanus is known for nibbling endlessly on countless samples of wedding cake and dreamily thinking about his bride-to-be (which he has not yet met!). Sometimes, when in his dreamy state, Pelicanus seems to elevate and drift on a pink cloud… to come down to earth sooner or later with a crash, boom, bang!
But alas, this time it was not Pelicanus who came tumbling down from the clear cloudless sky. It was not a plane. It was not Superman. It was… a bird! The dashingly darling Countess Flammy Flamenco tumbled to a halt right in front of my disbelieving eyes. She calmly took off her pink sunglasses and made huge eyelashy eyes at me. She never could fly straight, but her joire-de-vivre attitude made up for that.
“You wanna play, Reggie?” She wriggled her eyebrows suggestively.
For sure! Let no one say His Royal Highness King Reginald Casper the Third is not up for a challenge. I took that gal by the feathers and spun her right off her gangly legs! We flew straight to Emerald Casino – a mere 45km away – and proceeded to play with Lady Luck until the wee hours of the morning. So, if you would care to be my guest at mi casa, you know where to go and play at night. Just don’t be alarmed when you see a pink flamingo and a gorgeous parrot living it up at the roulette table.
My first thought was that my good old friend, Pelicanus, had got himself in a rather tight spot! He might have underestimated his ever-increasing girth and attempted to fly higher than a bird of his er… stature is advised to do. Pelicanus is known for nibbling endlessly on countless samples of wedding cake and dreamily thinking about his bride-to-be (which he has not yet met!). Sometimes, when in his dreamy state, Pelicanus seems to elevate and drift on a pink cloud… to come down to earth sooner or later with a crash, boom, bang!
But alas, this time it was not Pelicanus who came tumbling down from the clear cloudless sky. It was not a plane. It was not Superman. It was… a bird! The dashingly darling Countess Flammy Flamenco tumbled to a halt right in front of my disbelieving eyes. She calmly took off her pink sunglasses and made huge eyelashy eyes at me. She never could fly straight, but her joire-de-vivre attitude made up for that.
“You wanna play, Reggie?” She wriggled her eyebrows suggestively.
For sure! Let no one say His Royal Highness King Reginald Casper the Third is not up for a challenge. I took that gal by the feathers and spun her right off her gangly legs! We flew straight to Emerald Casino – a mere 45km away – and proceeded to play with Lady Luck until the wee hours of the morning. So, if you would care to be my guest at mi casa, you know where to go and play at night. Just don’t be alarmed when you see a pink flamingo and a gorgeous parrot living it up at the roulette table.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Royal family!
I, King Reginald Casper the Third, proclaim today as “World Sunshine Day.” Don’t you just luuuurve warm summer holidays in Vaal Marina? Sunshine, water, friends, and of course the luxury of residing in Vaalnest Boutique Hotel, aaaah the good life...
I recall the tale of an incident that happened not so long ago, about a young bird who had nothing more than a dream in his heart and a few pennies in his pocket. The brave young lad set out with hopes and plans to conquer the whole wide world but instead fund love in the wings of a beautiful little lady – alas, mum and dad.
Together, our hero and his bride chose the best spot they could find to build their dream nest, and they decided to call it Vaalnest.
It wasn’t long, though, before Dad’s spirit for adventure got the best of him, and together with mum, they set out on a great world tour, hoping to uncover mystic ruins, catch a glimpse of the pyramids, and perch on the Eiffel Tower.
This all sounded like way too much trouble for their enticingly handsome son (wink wink), and he was left in charge of their stunning home. He quickly proceeded to make the most of it, and together with his old friend, Pelicanus Rufescens, transformed it into Vaalnest Boutique Hotel.
Guests travel from afar yearning to experience just one night in the captivating, peaceful surroundings on offer.
I am glad to report that none of them ever leave disappointed!
P.S.
Not so eagerly awaiting mum and dad’s return... Mum can be a real old bat sometimes...
I recall the tale of an incident that happened not so long ago, about a young bird who had nothing more than a dream in his heart and a few pennies in his pocket. The brave young lad set out with hopes and plans to conquer the whole wide world but instead fund love in the wings of a beautiful little lady – alas, mum and dad.
Together, our hero and his bride chose the best spot they could find to build their dream nest, and they decided to call it Vaalnest.
It wasn’t long, though, before Dad’s spirit for adventure got the best of him, and together with mum, they set out on a great world tour, hoping to uncover mystic ruins, catch a glimpse of the pyramids, and perch on the Eiffel Tower.
This all sounded like way too much trouble for their enticingly handsome son (wink wink), and he was left in charge of their stunning home. He quickly proceeded to make the most of it, and together with his old friend, Pelicanus Rufescens, transformed it into Vaalnest Boutique Hotel.
Guests travel from afar yearning to experience just one night in the captivating, peaceful surroundings on offer.
I am glad to report that none of them ever leave disappointed!
P.S.
Not so eagerly awaiting mum and dad’s return... Mum can be a real old bat sometimes...
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Pelicanus Rufescens' Splendid Weddings
My old-time best mate, Pelicanus Rufescens, an incurable romantic and pink-backed pelican, resides at Pelican Hall situated on the grounds of my castle – Vaalnest Boutique Hotel.
By this time you all know I have a roving eye and appreciate the finer things of life, especially the fine females of my species... or for that matter, any species... (wink wink), whereas Pelicanus goes all mushy and lovey-dovey when it comes to his one and only, his other half which he has not even met yet. Sigh.
Pelicanus loves to host weddings at the Pelican Hall which can easily seat 120 guests. He jealously guard over every minute detail of each wedding and demands that arrangements go smoothly to ensure a breathtaking, fairytale coming-together of two people for life. Pelicanus lives out his own dream of meeting his soul mate each time he hosts a wedding. He expects only the best from his well-trained staff and his sole aim is to create an atmosphere of such tremendous intimate splendour that the lucky bride and groom will always look back on it as being the best day of their lives.
Pelicanus is rather tall – about 125 cm. He weighs a little more, though, than he should. He can’t resist nibbling on the delicious wedding cakes and gastronomic cuisine on offer. He will sometimes join me for dinner on my balcony overlooking the magnificent Vaal Dam and we will speak of amour.
To his exasperation I will comment on the beautiful females I have met during the day in a most appreciative manner. He, on the other hand, will only speak of his true love, Mrs. Pelicanus-to-be someday. Like I said, an incurable romantic – and who better than to oversee the most beautiful weddings on earth.
By this time you all know I have a roving eye and appreciate the finer things of life, especially the fine females of my species... or for that matter, any species... (wink wink), whereas Pelicanus goes all mushy and lovey-dovey when it comes to his one and only, his other half which he has not even met yet. Sigh.
Pelicanus loves to host weddings at the Pelican Hall which can easily seat 120 guests. He jealously guard over every minute detail of each wedding and demands that arrangements go smoothly to ensure a breathtaking, fairytale coming-together of two people for life. Pelicanus lives out his own dream of meeting his soul mate each time he hosts a wedding. He expects only the best from his well-trained staff and his sole aim is to create an atmosphere of such tremendous intimate splendour that the lucky bride and groom will always look back on it as being the best day of their lives.
Pelicanus is rather tall – about 125 cm. He weighs a little more, though, than he should. He can’t resist nibbling on the delicious wedding cakes and gastronomic cuisine on offer. He will sometimes join me for dinner on my balcony overlooking the magnificent Vaal Dam and we will speak of amour.
To his exasperation I will comment on the beautiful females I have met during the day in a most appreciative manner. He, on the other hand, will only speak of his true love, Mrs. Pelicanus-to-be someday. Like I said, an incurable romantic – and who better than to oversee the most beautiful weddings on earth.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Peacehaven
Stress! (Aaaah... that horrible one-syllable word...)
It causes anxiety, split ends, moodiness, hair loss, and even the occasional pimple – my worst nightmare! Shriek!!!!!
Being the laid back, rich, relaxed, royal (excuse the alliteration) bird that I am, stress is not a word I really choose to have in my vocabulary, but time and time again I see guests arriving in my kingdom, all with the same worn-out, frightened, and stressed expressions – like they just got off the “up-down, head-over-heels, full-speed, fast-drop rollercoaster” called life.
That’s when I decide to treat them to a deluxe, exquisite, not-so-rare, wonderful morning in my castle – Vaalnest Boutique Hotel.
They start their day with a champagne breakfast on their private balcony...mmm... imagine French bubbly and decadent chocolate muffins, all while enjoying the extraordinary Vaal Dam view...
Then, after a loooong aromatic bubble bath and an even longer full-body massage at the day spa, there is not even a single sign of stress to be found on their faces.
Ooooh, the magical bliss of being pampered and spoiled silly...
I think I’m going to spend the rest of my day on my yacht... (bird watching, you know – wink wink).
Jealous?
Why not experience it for yourself? Book a weekend in my kingdom – 100% satisfaction guaranteed.
It causes anxiety, split ends, moodiness, hair loss, and even the occasional pimple – my worst nightmare! Shriek!!!!!
Being the laid back, rich, relaxed, royal (excuse the alliteration) bird that I am, stress is not a word I really choose to have in my vocabulary, but time and time again I see guests arriving in my kingdom, all with the same worn-out, frightened, and stressed expressions – like they just got off the “up-down, head-over-heels, full-speed, fast-drop rollercoaster” called life.
That’s when I decide to treat them to a deluxe, exquisite, not-so-rare, wonderful morning in my castle – Vaalnest Boutique Hotel.
They start their day with a champagne breakfast on their private balcony...mmm... imagine French bubbly and decadent chocolate muffins, all while enjoying the extraordinary Vaal Dam view...
Then, after a loooong aromatic bubble bath and an even longer full-body massage at the day spa, there is not even a single sign of stress to be found on their faces.
Ooooh, the magical bliss of being pampered and spoiled silly...
I think I’m going to spend the rest of my day on my yacht... (bird watching, you know – wink wink).
Jealous?
Why not experience it for yourself? Book a weekend in my kingdom – 100% satisfaction guaranteed.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Royal Weddings...
Glitz! Glamour! Style! Impeccable taste!
Close your eyes and try to imagine this scene (well, don’t stop reading, just imagine closing your eyes) – a beautiful bride, dressed in designer couture, graciously steps out of a sleek limousine and follows a trail of rose petals and fairy lights through the fragrant garden to where she meets her beloved in the chapel. Surrounded by friends and family, and hundreds of roses and lanterns, they declare their everlasting, undying love for each other.
Ah, the bliss of romance! Sigh... No, you haven’t spotted me pecking away a tear! Sniff...
Have your “big day” at Vaalnest Boutique Hotel, and leave all the boring planning and stressful details in the capable hands of my staff and on-site co-ordinator, while you get pampered and spoiled and all dolled up to look beeeeeeautiful!
Birthday parties, engagement parties, weddings, business conferences, launches, and oh, did I mention PARTIES? We here at Vaalnest Boutique Hotel host any type of event and (hee hee) party up a storm anytime.
You might just get lucky and spot me doing a sexy rumba, or the electric slide, or I might even pull out all the stops and honour you with my striking imitation of MJ’s moonwalk.
For an old bird, I still have a surprising number of moves up my sleeve...er...wing....
You know, it has been rumoured that Elvis was once spotted by paparazzi impersonating the “Reggie-House Rock”!
I choose not to comment, but as my old friend, the king himself, said: - “Thank you, thank you very much.”
Close your eyes and try to imagine this scene (well, don’t stop reading, just imagine closing your eyes) – a beautiful bride, dressed in designer couture, graciously steps out of a sleek limousine and follows a trail of rose petals and fairy lights through the fragrant garden to where she meets her beloved in the chapel. Surrounded by friends and family, and hundreds of roses and lanterns, they declare their everlasting, undying love for each other.
Ah, the bliss of romance! Sigh... No, you haven’t spotted me pecking away a tear! Sniff...
Have your “big day” at Vaalnest Boutique Hotel, and leave all the boring planning and stressful details in the capable hands of my staff and on-site co-ordinator, while you get pampered and spoiled and all dolled up to look beeeeeeautiful!
Birthday parties, engagement parties, weddings, business conferences, launches, and oh, did I mention PARTIES? We here at Vaalnest Boutique Hotel host any type of event and (hee hee) party up a storm anytime.
You might just get lucky and spot me doing a sexy rumba, or the electric slide, or I might even pull out all the stops and honour you with my striking imitation of MJ’s moonwalk.
For an old bird, I still have a surprising number of moves up my sleeve...er...wing....
You know, it has been rumoured that Elvis was once spotted by paparazzi impersonating the “Reggie-House Rock”!
I choose not to comment, but as my old friend, the king himself, said: - “Thank you, thank you very much.”
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Royal Favourite Pastimes...
Vaalnest Boutique Hotel is my castle and here I reign supreme. My favourite pastime is bird watching – of course – and I will let you know that 240 bird species have been identified in my immaculately kept designer’s garden. (Yep yep, Solomon am I with many concubines.) A bird lover’s paradise... wink wink. For a wily old bird like me – Heaven! Visit me and book a guided bird-walk. You will never be the same again. Just be sure to bring your camera. Unfortunately, touching is prohibited but you may feast your eyes...
I do enjoy the occasional game of golf near here but have to dodge flying balls the whole time. A while ago a stray ball almost beheaded me and since then I decided to declare the golf course a no-fly zone for birds. I prefer to catch a ride on the shoulder of a caddy. I do love the greens and will occasionally pause to nibble away. It’s soooo good for keeping a bird regular.
Ladies, you’re welcome to come and feel the bump on my head – it’s still here. Please do croon in my ear when you do your thing.
For those of you who are birds of another kind (vultures), I give you the Paintball Park. I myself do not adventurously venture into the warzone, thank you, but prefer to spend some quality (and safe) time in my underground bunker having a relaxing massage. I am King Reginald Casper the Third and rumour already has it that my great-great-great gogo had an encounter with a certain flying specimen named Casper the Ghost, hence my name.
Naturally, taking my royal bloodline into account, I do not want to encourage such idol and slanderous gossip, and therefore I stay clear of the flying paintballs. I do not want to be romantically approached by a peacock. Trust me. (...and I do NOT want to have any descendant of mine be called Prince Reginald Casper Peacock the sixth. Ugh!)
I do enjoy the occasional game of golf near here but have to dodge flying balls the whole time. A while ago a stray ball almost beheaded me and since then I decided to declare the golf course a no-fly zone for birds. I prefer to catch a ride on the shoulder of a caddy. I do love the greens and will occasionally pause to nibble away. It’s soooo good for keeping a bird regular.
Ladies, you’re welcome to come and feel the bump on my head – it’s still here. Please do croon in my ear when you do your thing.
For those of you who are birds of another kind (vultures), I give you the Paintball Park. I myself do not adventurously venture into the warzone, thank you, but prefer to spend some quality (and safe) time in my underground bunker having a relaxing massage. I am King Reginald Casper the Third and rumour already has it that my great-great-great gogo had an encounter with a certain flying specimen named Casper the Ghost, hence my name.
Naturally, taking my royal bloodline into account, I do not want to encourage such idol and slanderous gossip, and therefore I stay clear of the flying paintballs. I do not want to be romantically approached by a peacock. Trust me. (...and I do NOT want to have any descendant of mine be called Prince Reginald Casper Peacock the sixth. Ugh!)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
What to do... what to do...
If I had a yellow submarine I would’ve been splashing in the tranquil waters of the Vaal Dam like a hot yellow-polka-dot-bikini mama when paparazzi are lurking nearby. Imagine the headlines: Reggie – Dotty as Always!
Except I’m not a mama, I don’t own a bikini – polka dotted or otherwise. I am, however (some serious eyebrow wriggling) known to bathe au naturel with a strategically placed tail feather to cover my... shall we say crown jewels?
My guests are welcome to avail themselves of the blessed coolness of the carved-out-of-rock infinite pool of Vaalnest Boutique Hotel as they languorously sip on martinis while they admire the dramatic cascading water features. The occasional yellow-polka-dot-bikini hotty has been spotted here... wink wink.
What is a blue blood ring neck parrot without a splendid carriage to pull him through the streets of his kingdom so he can pull out all the stops and do the Mexican wave... eh... royal wave? Sadly, I am not only lacking a submarine –yellow or otherwise, but a carriage – splendid or otherwise. But boy, you should see me on my mountain bike – all feathers flapping as I joyfully careen through the streets of my quaint holiday town, Vaal Marina! Time and time again I forget all about va-va-voom and Viagra as I squawk myself silly, having a windy ball. Visit me and have one yourself – satisfaction guaranteed.
Big boys play with big toys, you say? Well, if size does matter, you can always romp around on a quad bike, jet ski, or powerboat – courtesy from my friends at Watersports & Marine. Whatever tickles your fancy. So what are you waiting for? High tail it to my not-so-humble-abode and let’s p-a-r-t-y.
Except I’m not a mama, I don’t own a bikini – polka dotted or otherwise. I am, however (some serious eyebrow wriggling) known to bathe au naturel with a strategically placed tail feather to cover my... shall we say crown jewels?
My guests are welcome to avail themselves of the blessed coolness of the carved-out-of-rock infinite pool of Vaalnest Boutique Hotel as they languorously sip on martinis while they admire the dramatic cascading water features. The occasional yellow-polka-dot-bikini hotty has been spotted here... wink wink.
What is a blue blood ring neck parrot without a splendid carriage to pull him through the streets of his kingdom so he can pull out all the stops and do the Mexican wave... eh... royal wave? Sadly, I am not only lacking a submarine –yellow or otherwise, but a carriage – splendid or otherwise. But boy, you should see me on my mountain bike – all feathers flapping as I joyfully careen through the streets of my quaint holiday town, Vaal Marina! Time and time again I forget all about va-va-voom and Viagra as I squawk myself silly, having a windy ball. Visit me and have one yourself – satisfaction guaranteed.
Big boys play with big toys, you say? Well, if size does matter, you can always romp around on a quad bike, jet ski, or powerboat – courtesy from my friends at Watersports & Marine. Whatever tickles your fancy. So what are you waiting for? High tail it to my not-so-humble-abode and let’s p-a-r-t-y.
Welcome to King Reggies World!
Do you fancy a dreamy getaway from the fast paced urban jungle to rejuvenate your body and soul in a luxuriously serene surrounding? Imagine pampering yourself with a weekend of sheer relaxing bliss and leisure activities that will have a much desired therapeutic effect on your overall wellbeing...Hmmm...
Stop! Why indulge in a hazy dream that could only leave you unfulfilled? Experience the real thing!
Now that I have your attention, allow me to introduce myself. I am King Reginald Casper the Third. A delightful mouthful when I am called upon to impress the ladies – wink wink ;-). I am not one for standing on ceremony, though, - I like to perch – and you may call me Reggie, providing you buy the first round of drinks... and the second, and the third. I am royalty after all!!!!! Have you ever seen a true blue blood bird fly around with a sequined purse clutched in his manicured talons? Duh!
My kingdom is named Vaal Marina, a picturesque holiday town nestling intimately on the back of the mighty Vaal Dam where, if you look close enough, you’ll catch my friend Rip van Winkle, still catching forty winks beneath a shady old tree. Entering Vaal Marina one experiences a definite sense of homecoming and belonging – that elusive “ooh-aah feeling” everyone wants to bottle and sell to the highest bidder. People are known to shout “yeah baby yeah, come to papa” when seeing my kingdom for the very first time. A bit presumptuous of them, I say, as I prefer birds of another feather but let me not be known as a party pooper - (that wink again).
My castle and home is the exclusive Vaalnest Boutique Hotel (VaalNEST, get it?). I languorously submit myself to the caring and loving administrations of professional staff whose sole aim in life is to spoil me rotten. I place my royal feather stamp of approval on their excellent service. This is undoubtedly an honour I do not bestow lightly as I hate getting ink on my luxuriously cushioned tailbone. People might think I have piles, for heaven sake!
I while away many golden hours perching on the balcony of my 4* castle overlooking Vaal Marina and admiring all that is mine – although my favourite pastime is bird-watching, of course (still winking). I have many guests arriving from all over the country and abroad to experience the honour of having an audience with me. I simply love introducing them to my magical kingdom and giving them a chance to escape from their oh-so-ordinary lives to a world of sheer unadulterated luxury as they settle down to enjoy a taste of my out-of-this-world hospitality.
A true gossiper at heart, I would love to boast to you about my kingdom, my castle and all the wonderful activities and fun we get up to here. I’m hoping you would soon like to come for a visit and meet me. Contact the efficient staff at my castle, the Vaalnest Boutique Hotel, and book your stay. Meanwhile, keep on reading my blog – it’s bloody hard work typing with my beak!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
